iKinesics

Body language makes up at least half of our face-to-face communication. While voices and choice of words can certainly convey emotion, body language can either reinforce or contradict what is said. The hands alone have a language all their own, and if you are aware of what different palm positions and gestures mean, you can alter your gestures to help make the point you want.

When a person speaks to you with open palms facing upward or towards you, it could indicate that he is being honest, feeling submissive or appealing to your understanding. You could use this gesture in a natural way to portray honesty. In fact, most people find it hard to tell a lie with their palms open. However, with practice it becomes easier to look sincere when telling a ’story’. Do note that the little micro gestures that you unconsciously make may raise red flags to uncommonly observant people.

Think of a politician giving a campaign speech. If his or her palms are relaxed and open upward, it is a gesture indicating that they want you to think of them as your humble public servant. But their record and their actions may show that they are anything but conciliatory and servile.

Some researchers believe that accomplished liars learn to control facial expressions and hand gestures very well, but the signals from the legs and feet may give away their deceit. In other words, their palms could be signaling sincerity, while their shuffling feet say something quite different.

You can use the position of your palms to emphasize your meaning without contradicting your intentions. For example, one way a woman signals interest in a man is by moving her open, relaxed palm to her collarbone or to the shoulder on the same side as the palm. You can indicate a depth of feeling toward someone or something by lightly placing your open palm over your heart.

Your palms have a language all their own. “Reading palms” in this sense won’t predict your future, but it can certainly clue you in to the truthfulness of someone else’s communication. Remember, telling lies with your palms is much more difficult than telling lies with words.

Joyce

(edited by Logen)

photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dominicspics/3311231217/sizes/s/

Since the last post, we’ve established that everyone has a personal space surrounding his/her body. This study of territorial space is called proxemics.

Based on the amount of distance between each individual we can tell the relationship between them. These distances can be grouped into:

1. Intimate Zone
2. Personal Zone
3. Social Zone
4. Public Zone

Intimate Zone (extends about 2 to 6 fists away from the body)

This zone is reserved for the people who are emotionally close to an individual. They include parents, children and close friends.

Personal Zone (1 to 2 forearms away)

This is the distance you’re comfortable with people during parties and gatherings.

Social Zone (2 arm lengths away)

This distance is maintained with people you don’t know or don’t know well.

Public Zone (over 3.6 m away)

When talking to an audience or large group of people, you feel less anxiety at this distance.

Intrusion of The Zones

The most critical of all the zones is the Intimate Zone. An individual will guard this zone most intensely. When it is intruded upon, many physiological responses occur. Adrenalin races through the bloodstream and prepares the individual for a fight or flight response.

Three reasons exist for intrusion of the Intimate Zone.

The intruder is…

1. an emotionally close person (e.g. close friend, child)
2. making a sexual advance
3. hostile

Exceptions

Intrusion sometimes occur when in crowded places. One has no choice but to tolerate undeliberate intrusion.

Logen

The branch of body language, which studies a person’s personal space is proxemics.

Everyone has their personal space. Your house is personal space in terms of territory. Your favourite armchair is personal space in terms of possession. Even the air space that surrounds you is personal space.

[ Personal air space between a young and old man ]

In the picture above, the young man and old man are sitting apart. This is an indication that each have their own personal air space around them. Though, you can tell that the old man is a little uncomfortable, because he is facing away from the young man.

The air spaces around your body are regarded as your personal space and you will subconsciously be protective of them. You wouldn’t allow a stranger too close to you for instance.

[ An experiment on proxemics by some students ]

Watch the video above, it shows the reactions of people whose personal space was invaded.

Culture, Population and Density

This personal space that surrounds every person varies in size. The size of the personal space is determined by each person’s living conditions (space) when he grew up. Someone who grew up in city with crowded conditions will likely have a smaller personal space. In contrast, a person who grew up in the countryside will likely have a larger personal space.

If the country person were to meet the city person, they will both feel uncomfortable for different reasons. The country person will feel uncomfortable because the city person stands close to him. While the city person will feel awkward when the country person moves away to a more comfortable distance.

The general idea here is, someone who lives in densely populated area has lesser space and therefore feel comfortable with smaller personal space.

Watch this space…

Logen L.

photo: http://flickr.com/photos/arostron/2358060976/

I know that the body language content below is nothing new. However, some people learn better with images. Therefore, I’ve organised the info in a pictorial format. Hopefully this is helpful in making you remember body language basics.

That is all.

Logen L.

Body Language Not Foolproof

The interpretation of body gestures cannot guarantee what a person is feeling or thinking. The human though-process is never simple and there are too many factors affecting a person’s body language. Therefore, body gestures must be read in clusters to reinforce our interpretations.

Do note that even experts make mistakes when interpreting body language.

Generalisations On Reading Body Language

This is my own observation of body language. One can display 2 categories of body language based on the cluster of gestures: comfortable and uncomfortable. A person’s body gestures are subconsciously aimed to bring himself/herself comfort.

If you are confident, having relaxed open body gestures will naturally be comfortable for you to display. You will not be afraid to take up more space. If you are nervous, you will adopt closed and tensed body language to take up less space. You will also display some self-comfort gestures like nail-biting to alleviate the nervousness.

The categories of comfortable body language and uncomfortable body language, can be interpreted positively or negatively. Below are some scenarios.

Scenario 1

If I was told by a friend about a death in his family, I would display uncomfortable body language because I am sympathetic and yet awkward about what to say to him. This can be said to be a positive (or appropriate) display of body language, because the opposite would be insensitive.

Scenario 2
I am a teacher. After some weeks, I notice that a Mary in my form class will become tense and try to shrink up to make herself unnoticeable when a group of girls enter the class.

Mary’s body gestures no doubt indicate that she is uncomfortable, and it may be due to those girls. As a good teacher, I would investigate on why she was displaying negative body language towards those classmates. Could she have been bullied by them or does she feel left out.

Scenario 3

I have sent an employee to deposit $1000 into the bank. After he had returned to the office, I asked if he had deposited the cash. He hesitates and gives unusually long eye-contact and tells me he has deposited the money. As he walks away from me, his shoulders begin to relax.

The employee’s body language suggests that he is uncomfortable and may have been lying to me. However, he may be telling the truth, but have seen that I was particularly edgy that day, and was nervous that he may trigger my temper.

His body language is generally negative either way. If he is lying, it is bad. If he is afraid of my temper, then I must have some anger management issues.

[ This picture shows a self-comforting gesture that the person subconsciously does to alleviate nervousness ]

Scenario 4

I am doing a presentation on a ‘no-smoking’ campaign. My audience begins to fold their arms, when I make a comment.

The audiences’ body language is defensive (uncomfortable with what I said). If they continue to fold their arms, my talk on ‘no-smoking’ would obviously be a flop, as they are defensive against what I’m saying. It is a negative gesture in my perspective.

In brief, our display of body gestures is aimed always to be comfortable and natural. If we feel uncomfortable, our gestures will try to accommodate and alleviate that feeling. If we feel comfortable, our gestures appear more natural.

Can body language be faked?

While you can fake the major gestures of body language, your subconscious mind will display microgestures that give you away. The microgestures will contradict your fake major gestures. And the longer you fake the body language, it gives more time for the other person to notice the incongruence of your body language.

If you do have to lie, be mindful of the gestures of your body, not only the facial expressions. The average person tends to neglect the body gestures, which will eventually be incongruent with their facial expressions.

Manipulating Body Language

I realise that many of us, including myself, are interested in understanding another person’s body language and altering our body language for communication purposes. This is in no way lying, because you are simply accommodating another person’s unspoken responses by responding to those gestures in an appropriate way.

I will post some resources on this in time to come. And I will mind map the entire basic topic for better understanding.

Logen L.

photo: http://flickr.com/photos/taaalia/2115955863/sizes/s/

Body language consists of the unspoken involuntary gestures we make. These gestures are reactions towards our thoughts and emotions. And these nonverbal gestures make up of at least 65% of our communication.

How Did Our Body Language Originate?

Both nature and nurture had a part to play.

Some gestures were inborn and passed down genetically. While others were learnt while growing up in our respective cultures.

Researching on blind and deaf people (who could not have learnt gestures by watching or listening), studying cultures from different parts of the world, and observing apes revealed this.

For instance, when an infant shook his head from side to side to avoid his mother’s breast, it means that he had fed on sufficient milk. This gesture continued on in a person’s lifetime to indicate ‘no’.

How To Read Body Language

When reading body language, assess if a person’s spoken words agree with his body language. I may tell you that I am happy, but if you see me frowning, you will know that I am lying.

Observe a person’s body language in clusters. Many people make the mistake of focusing on one gesture to assess a person’s entire body language. In result, they make the wrong conclusion.

By looking at gestures in clusters, you will be able to reinforce your observations with the other observed gestures.

Assess the person’s body language in context of the situation. The folding of arms is a defensive gesture. However, if a person folds his arms in cold weather, he may just be keeping himself warm.

Be aware of other factors that can affect body language, such as:

• profession (a pianist may give a weak handshake to protect his hands)
• health
• clothing (tight clothing can restrict movement)
• disability
• culture and upbringing
• trauma

How To Detect Body Language Intuitively

A woman’s intuition or gut feeling, is merely a subconscious ability to detect a contradiction between a person’s gestures and spoken words. And this ability comes with practice.

Watch muted videos, and try to guess what is happening. Observe people and how they communicate nonverbally.

Practice, practice and practice. And be aware that the interpretation of body language may be inaccurate due to many factors.

Logen L.

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/944654